I am trying to soak up the last few weeks of summer before the rush and chaos of the school year sets in. Both of my children will be in school and the third will make her debut soon after to disrupt the rhythm of the schedule. I have implemented a late afternoon nap time for myself, however I selfishly wrap the kids up in it as well. We all three snuggle on the couch, Jack in front of me and Allison in the crook of my legs. I take a 20-30 minute snooze while they watch an exciting episode of whatever PBS is playing at that time. I figure it is educational and restorative. I love the feel of their warm little bodies tucked into mine as we relax together. I am not sure how we will reconfigure once there is a third little one fighting for space, but we will manage.
Usually as we are snuggling, Allison will ask if the baby is kicking. Her favorite thing is to lay next to me with her hand on my belly and feel the baby kicks. Occasionally I will get commentary from her of, "Wow, that was a big one." or "She is just being lazy today." Jack likes to lean back on my belly which usually elicits a strong foot or arm feeling like it is ripping my insides in opposition to this big brother using her space as a recliner. Jack doesn't quite have the patience to wait for the kicks and punches, but he does like to talk about how big my belly is now. He knows that there is a little sister in my belly and that my belly is getting bigger. By rational thought he has decided that he has a baby brother in his belly since his belly is big too. He likes to compare and sticks that little gut out to show it off.
Allison and Jack are both in a constant state of either maturation or regression. Jack is getting closer and closer to being potty trained, however his nervous stutter gives away the internal stress he is feeling. I think that his frequent melt downs are also related, but the poor kid has got to put it somewhere beside his pants by the first day of school! Allison is sassy and smart mouthed, but also sweet and sensitive. She is beginning to understand the concepts behind the discipline. Today she explained to me in a revelation, "The more I follow directions, the more fun I get to have." Exactly. Hopefully that bit of knowledge sticks around for awhile. She is more affectionate towards me than she has ever been. I think it is the hormones I am emitting and her little care giving personality thriving off of them.
Our days may seem redundant to those looking in. The toilets need cleaning again, the floor has dog hair on it, and there are loads of laundry needing to be done. I forgot to lock the car and got busted by the husband, I turned in a teacher request to the school, and shuttled to gymnastics. I only raised my voice a few times today and managed to avoid yelling. I also got to see the awe in my little boy's eyes as he looked at a bright shiny new bat. I got to feel my little girls sweet hand in mine as she leaned her head up against my arm. I held my children tight and got sweet kisses from them both. I was reached for and needed today. This is my paradise.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Toddlers and tantrums
Jack's little world is being rocked by something, unseen and unknown by me, his mother. It is causing him to have these dramatic meltdowns which occur in the blink of an eye. He is crying for hours at a time for mundane reasons, and he is inconsolable. Last week it was over cantaloupe, today he did not want to wear pants. In his defense, he has been going free on the bottom while at home. However, when we go outside, we must wear pants since it is the proper thing to do.
Allison was prepped and ready to go to her gymnastics class and Jack was playing with his golf balls. Real golf balls, just for clarification. He told me repeatedly, "No pants." To which I replied with nice structured boundaries that he would have to put his pants on when we went to the car. He played until the last second when a full out wrestling match commenced as I got a pull up on him. Too exhausted to wrestle anymore I brought him to the car and proceeded to place his legs in his shorts while he was seated in what I thought would be a more restrained position. While screaming at the top of his lungs for the entire neighborhood's listening pleasure, I managed to get his shorts around his hips and get him buckled in. I kept an eye on doors and window, waiting for someone to peer out or come running to help this little boy who was obviously being tortured. No one noticed it seems, which makes me nervous in case a real emergency occurs!
Jack cried for half the car ride until he fell asleep. Peaceful quiet filled the car and I expected for the ordeal to be behind me. He napped in his car seat while Allison went to class. He has done this before and slept the entire time, but not today...of course, not today. He woke up crying, "I don't want pants!" It seems that our struggle had interjected itself into his REM sleep and he again was inconsolable. Again he cried, this time people did look but not with concern. It was more of a judgmental, what have you done look. I took him into the gym thinking that a change of scenery would help. It got worse...and so did the stares, and the conversations that went up in volume in an attempt to drown out my screaming child. So back to the car we went, and this time both of us were crying. I held him to no avail and finally placed him back in his car seat and went back into the gym to get Allison. Waiting for the police to arrive, since my child was in a running car in the parking lot I nervously paced between the car and the door of the gym. Peering inside, Jack was calm and drinking from my water bottle.
Tonight I sent Allison to vacation bible school with a friend and had some good one on one time with Jack. He was back to his pleasant and friendly persona that I adore. He snuggled with me and chatted. While sitting on the potty, he looked me in the eye and said, "I cry cause I don't want to wear pants." In a rather grown up conversation I told him that it made me sad when he acts that way. He seemed to process this, however we will see what shall happen tomorrow when he must wear pants again.
Allison was prepped and ready to go to her gymnastics class and Jack was playing with his golf balls. Real golf balls, just for clarification. He told me repeatedly, "No pants." To which I replied with nice structured boundaries that he would have to put his pants on when we went to the car. He played until the last second when a full out wrestling match commenced as I got a pull up on him. Too exhausted to wrestle anymore I brought him to the car and proceeded to place his legs in his shorts while he was seated in what I thought would be a more restrained position. While screaming at the top of his lungs for the entire neighborhood's listening pleasure, I managed to get his shorts around his hips and get him buckled in. I kept an eye on doors and window, waiting for someone to peer out or come running to help this little boy who was obviously being tortured. No one noticed it seems, which makes me nervous in case a real emergency occurs!
Jack cried for half the car ride until he fell asleep. Peaceful quiet filled the car and I expected for the ordeal to be behind me. He napped in his car seat while Allison went to class. He has done this before and slept the entire time, but not today...of course, not today. He woke up crying, "I don't want pants!" It seems that our struggle had interjected itself into his REM sleep and he again was inconsolable. Again he cried, this time people did look but not with concern. It was more of a judgmental, what have you done look. I took him into the gym thinking that a change of scenery would help. It got worse...and so did the stares, and the conversations that went up in volume in an attempt to drown out my screaming child. So back to the car we went, and this time both of us were crying. I held him to no avail and finally placed him back in his car seat and went back into the gym to get Allison. Waiting for the police to arrive, since my child was in a running car in the parking lot I nervously paced between the car and the door of the gym. Peering inside, Jack was calm and drinking from my water bottle.
Tonight I sent Allison to vacation bible school with a friend and had some good one on one time with Jack. He was back to his pleasant and friendly persona that I adore. He snuggled with me and chatted. While sitting on the potty, he looked me in the eye and said, "I cry cause I don't want to wear pants." In a rather grown up conversation I told him that it made me sad when he acts that way. He seemed to process this, however we will see what shall happen tomorrow when he must wear pants again.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Finding support and inspiration
I have a friend from high school who writes the most amazing blog posts. I haven't seen or spoken to her in years, and started following her when she linked her blog through Facebook. She is insightful, funny and spiritual. Although her walk in motherhood is different from mine, I am awed at how parallel our lives can be. I am beginning to believe that all mothers share the same frustrations and joys. We are all wanting to be guiding lights to our children and raise them up to be good people who love others. Her last post really spoke to me. You can find it here: www.upside.blogspot.com.
I want my children to see love and acceptance when they look at me and to see how thankful I am that they are in my life. Today I snuggled with both of them curled on the couch while a thunderstorm came through. Jack had just woken from a nap and curled up in front of me as I layed on my side. Allison lay on my hip in the crook of my legs with her hand on my belly. We snuggled through two rounds of "Jake and the Neverland Pirates" while I dozed off with the sweet heat of my babies bodies around me. I love those times and I want them to remember them as well. I used to lay on the couch with my mom in those same positions and I remember having "my spot". I crave those sweet cuddles and hope that it takes them a good long while, maybe never, to outgrow them.
It is not always easy to show my children love. Allison is becoming more likely than not to look right at me and outright defy my direction to her. They say that children test the ones they feel the most secure with, well I want "they" to come to my house and let me know how to get my child to follow directions without me raising my voice or physically guiding her through the requested task. I have been better recently but there were a bad couple of weeks when I cried daily from the guilt and exhaustion of being "that mom". My little girl has my number, she knows how to push my buttons and can get me steaming mad with one blank look that says, I am not listening to you and I will not listen, and I am going to do what I want to do anyway.
I have read books and advice columns. My husband and I regularly reconvene to assess and recommit to discipline strategies. We are going to implement a three strike rule that I read about in a parenting advice column this weekend. Every time she tells me "no" to a direction she looses a strip of paper from her 3 chances. After the last is gone, she will spend the day in her room. It sure is going to be a long day for her the first day we try it. She wakes up at seven, so my bets are by 10 am she will be done. We may have to change the consequence to make it more appropriate for our life, but we shall see.
Overall though, my children are wonderful and I need to appreciate how good they are. I am thankful for them and want them to know how joyous they have made my life. This time in my life is definitely the hardest, best time I have ever known. I am anxious that I will be overwhelmed when this third baby arrives, because I know I will be. I only hope that I can have peace in my voice and on my face so that all those interacting with me will see the love that I have for them.
I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:13
I want my children to see love and acceptance when they look at me and to see how thankful I am that they are in my life. Today I snuggled with both of them curled on the couch while a thunderstorm came through. Jack had just woken from a nap and curled up in front of me as I layed on my side. Allison lay on my hip in the crook of my legs with her hand on my belly. We snuggled through two rounds of "Jake and the Neverland Pirates" while I dozed off with the sweet heat of my babies bodies around me. I love those times and I want them to remember them as well. I used to lay on the couch with my mom in those same positions and I remember having "my spot". I crave those sweet cuddles and hope that it takes them a good long while, maybe never, to outgrow them.
It is not always easy to show my children love. Allison is becoming more likely than not to look right at me and outright defy my direction to her. They say that children test the ones they feel the most secure with, well I want "they" to come to my house and let me know how to get my child to follow directions without me raising my voice or physically guiding her through the requested task. I have been better recently but there were a bad couple of weeks when I cried daily from the guilt and exhaustion of being "that mom". My little girl has my number, she knows how to push my buttons and can get me steaming mad with one blank look that says, I am not listening to you and I will not listen, and I am going to do what I want to do anyway.
I have read books and advice columns. My husband and I regularly reconvene to assess and recommit to discipline strategies. We are going to implement a three strike rule that I read about in a parenting advice column this weekend. Every time she tells me "no" to a direction she looses a strip of paper from her 3 chances. After the last is gone, she will spend the day in her room. It sure is going to be a long day for her the first day we try it. She wakes up at seven, so my bets are by 10 am she will be done. We may have to change the consequence to make it more appropriate for our life, but we shall see.
Overall though, my children are wonderful and I need to appreciate how good they are. I am thankful for them and want them to know how joyous they have made my life. This time in my life is definitely the hardest, best time I have ever known. I am anxious that I will be overwhelmed when this third baby arrives, because I know I will be. I only hope that I can have peace in my voice and on my face so that all those interacting with me will see the love that I have for them.
I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:13
Potty training
Jack will be three in a month and we are in the midst of potty training. I have found that the bare bottom method has been most effective and am on the search for a pair of toddler boxers for public outings. When he wears those cute little underoos with Mickey on the bottom, he proceeds to empty his bladder as if an absorbent pull up is awaiting its arrival. He is learning to stand up like Daddy and is becoming more receptive to me telling him to go to the potty. Although frequently I get the answer, "I don't need to." or "I already did." Which he did go, only it was an hour ago and that is about the limit of his little bladder's capacity.
As far as the backside is concerned, we are nowhere close. He is becoming more aware of when his parents go, which is of no little embarrassment. Especially when I have to appropriately divert his request to wipe...everyone. As of right now, a swift wipe on the back cleans all the poo poo off! We will reteach that lesson when it becomes necessary. He is proud of the sounds his body makes and laughs just like a man when he passes gas.
Today he let one rip right as he was walking up the stairs and I was standing behind him. I told him, "Jack your hiney is talking". He looked back at me with all seriousness and said, "What is my hiney saying, Mama?"
We have approximately six weeks before our little Jack starts preschool and will be required to wear pants in his daily life and still manage to make it to the potty. For his birthday he is getting a big boy back pack which I am sure will hold at least 3-4 pair of shorts. That is my estimate for how many he will need for the first day, which is a whopping three hours long. I was hopeful for a short minute that we may be free from diapers for a minute or two before this next baby is born. I try not to pressure him and allow him to become more aware of his body functions, but I sure am tired of those first thing in the morning surprises!
As far as the backside is concerned, we are nowhere close. He is becoming more aware of when his parents go, which is of no little embarrassment. Especially when I have to appropriately divert his request to wipe...everyone. As of right now, a swift wipe on the back cleans all the poo poo off! We will reteach that lesson when it becomes necessary. He is proud of the sounds his body makes and laughs just like a man when he passes gas.
Today he let one rip right as he was walking up the stairs and I was standing behind him. I told him, "Jack your hiney is talking". He looked back at me with all seriousness and said, "What is my hiney saying, Mama?"
We have approximately six weeks before our little Jack starts preschool and will be required to wear pants in his daily life and still manage to make it to the potty. For his birthday he is getting a big boy back pack which I am sure will hold at least 3-4 pair of shorts. That is my estimate for how many he will need for the first day, which is a whopping three hours long. I was hopeful for a short minute that we may be free from diapers for a minute or two before this next baby is born. I try not to pressure him and allow him to become more aware of his body functions, but I sure am tired of those first thing in the morning surprises!
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