today is a workday

I am blessed.  That pretty much sums it up.  I have a wonderful husband and wonderful beautiful children.  I am lucky to have a profession in which I work two days a week to keep my skills up to par and still have plenty of time with my children.  As a mother, everyday is a workday.  Most days I roll out of bed and into the chaos. I might get a shower by dinner.  On the days I go into an office and become a professional I wake up early, shower and put on makeup.  When I am there I feel like I am in the driver's seat.  I work with children and their parents and my advice is usually taken and implemented.  My job fulfills me professionally and I know that I am serving my calling when I am there.   After a 10 hour work in the office day, I come home to my children who have only  seen me long enough for a kiss and a quick brush through their hair in the morning.  The evenings on days like today are not usually pleasant.  There is fatigue on all of our parts, a general lack of following directions and demands of who is going to put he or she down for night nights.  I have guilt at wanting to get my little monsters to bed before the sun sets. 
Then there are the other days where the job of being a mom is not so stressful.  When we can talk, ride bikes and have a morning at the park.  There are games of memory and Candyland (which I cannot win when competing against my children, trust me I am trying).  There are temper tantrums and time outs, there is still a general lack of following directions but somehow I am not as frustrated.  Maybe it is the rhythm of the day and the general understanding between a mother and child.  "The look" tends to work more on the days that I am home than the days I am not.  Maybe it is the 10 minutes of shut eye I get when keeping my toddler still long enough for him to take his afternoon nap.  Maybe it is the extra time that it unscheduled.  Maybe it is the juicy kisses that I get when I pucker up and reach for sweet hugs from my babies. 
I still get frustrated and exasperated on the days I stay at home.  I look forward to my work days, to the escape that my job provides.  The thing I look forward to the most when I am returning to work is that I know when I will be eating lunch and that it will still be hot.  I feel guilty about this as well.  I realize that there is no perfect balance but that I may be living the closest thing there is to it. 
I am in the driver's seat at home too.  I am responsible for myself, for the things that come out of my mouth.  Whether I am engaged in the day or distracted are all my responsibility.  I am the person who sets the tone with my voice, instructions and consequences.  This is work.  Being a mother is the greatest joy but also brings the greatest burden.  I am going to be the person who gets the blame if my kids don't turn out to be upstanding members of the community.   I thought picking names was pressure, I didn't have a clue about the pressures of molding a human being.  So today is a workday.  I am doing the work that God has given me to do.  I will rejoice in my achievements and strive to improve in all the ways that I fall short.  I will try to deflect the guilt that creeps in, all the while knowing that a mother's guilt is never ceasing.  Most importantly I will give thanks for all the blessings in my life!