I am very sorry momma.

Allison is almost five and as the months have ticked by she has become quite articulate.  She has an explanation for every transgression against the rules.  She tries to gain just a few more seconds after receiving her directions by filling the silence with chatter, all the while ignoring the icy mom stare I am giving her.  Her talking has gotten her into trouble at school and at home.  Well, now she has upped the ante.
Last night after their shower Jack was on the potty and Allison was given her direction to go get her jammies on.  She really wanted to cheer her brother on his quest to put his pee pee in the potty, so proceeded to avoid eye contact and continue to encourage her brother.  I made direct eye contact with her and gave her the instruction again, with the stern warning of "Last chance".  She complied and as I turned around I saw something out of the corner of my eye.  There she was all sassy and defiant with her tongue stuck out at me.  Once spotted she immediately straightened up and ran to her room.  It was obvious that I was not supposed to see this, but too late.
I was stifling the giggles but knowing what this really meant from my preschooler, I called Daddy reinforcements to have a discussion with her about respect.  When Allison gets in trouble she is devastated which makes me wonder why she makes the choices in the first place.  She takes some consoling to calm down and is very sensitive about letting anyone down.  She is a very sweet girl with a gentle soul.  She came to me bearing a note she had written and a picture:

Allison spoke with tears streaming down her face saying, "I love you momma, and I am sorry I hurt your heart.  Please forgive me.  I drew a picture of me with a sad face and crying because I am heartbroken that I made you sad."
Hugs and kisses made the tears go away and she learned a little lesson about respecting her parents, hopefully.

Sunsets

This past weekend my family and I all gathered in Panama City to celebrate the life of Henry Lawrence.  Better known to me as "Uncle Hank".   I spent a good portion of my childhood in Panama City and Uncle Hank and his family were a constant presence in my life while we lived there.  We spent weekends on Shell Island where the sand is white as sugar and floated in the Gulf.  We would gather at Uncle Hank and Aunt Huck's house each weekend for shrimp, applesauce, and other concoctions.  There seems to be as many pictures of us taken in their home as there are in our own. 
Uncle Hank was Grandmommy's youngest brother.  They were a tight knit group of siblings who placed great importance on knowing and loving your cousins.  My mom counts her cousins as some of her best friends.  I find this a treasured gift that continues to be passed down through the generations. 
As the family gathered this weekend we stood around and told stories about Uncle Hank.  We looked at pictures, we laughed and we celebrated family just as Uncle Hank would have wanted us to do.  I stood back and noticed how my mother, my siblings  and I slipped back into the gentle rhythm of Panama City life.  I realized, not for the first time, that Panama City is my hometown.  It is familiar, friendly and the memories there are pleasant and are the definition of childhood.
The homily was given by Uncle Hank's son, Rev. Bob Lawrence.  Through the years he had gathered letters from his dad, lists, notes, some poignant and some mundane.  He had kept a letter, one in which Uncle Hank had listed all things that he was thankful for.  As he read only a portion, there was not a dry eye in the house.  I realize that it is so important to focus on what we are truly thankful for, and not those things that we want or need.  In several letters it was written that Thanksgiving was his favorite holiday because it was a time for family and for being thankful and there were no distractions to these goals.  It was about eating good and enjoying each other.  We had our own Thanksgiving this weekend.  As his children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, nieces and nephews gathered we ate well, enjoyed our time together and gave thanks that our lives had been touched by such a great man. 

HEAL walk

This year we decided to participate in the HEAL walk at the Zoo.  This organization is devoted to healing every autistic life and the zoo walk is meant as a day at the zoo for those families affected by autism to have a relaxed day free from judgement of others.  It is a great cause and we had a lot of fun.  The kids are so curious now and really enjoy the animals.  They ask questions and are interested enough to just sit and watch the animals go about their business.

facepainting

 

bounce houses with "BIG slides!"

NFL players including Tony Pashos from the Cleveland Browns

We ventured into the new dinosaur exhibit.  Jack's new obsession is with dinosaurs, but he kind of has a love/hate thing going on.  He loves to look at them on the page and play with them when they are toy size.  He hates it when they are big, look like they are real and about to eat him. 

I mean really great robotic effects!

"Dinosaur Dino" was not his favorite anymore after I tried to pose for a picture with him.

 

Our two little monkeys had so much fun that day at the zoo, and I hope that the hundreds of other families did as well.  It is such a blessing to have children that can communicate with me, willingly give me hugs and kisses and make friends easily.  I never want to take a single day for granted.  The families that are affected by autism struggle each day looking for a signal that it is okay to enter that child's world.  I have tremendous respect for the parents of children with autism and their relentless journey to seek hugs and kisses from their children. 

A day at the fair

I was raised in a family that never went to the fair.  My mom was dead set against it and we were never allowed to go.  She had lots of reasons, it was dirty, the rides were dangerous and would make us sick, and there were so many people it would be easy to get lost or stolen.  She was right, but my husband was raised with a different mindset when it came to the fair. Last year he convinced me to go and we had a lot of family fun. So when the annual Clay County Agricultural Fair sets up in town, we pack up and go.   As expected my children love the animals and the very first thing Allison asks for is a pony ride.  She likes the big white one..."It's a girl one" she says.

Jack had his eye on the little brown pony from the moment we went through the gate.  He smiled through the entire ride.

Allison is typically quite fearful, but when it comes to fair rides the sky is the limit.  The faster the better and she keeps asking to go on the big rides.  The roller coaster is her favorite.  She was tall enough this year to do the bungee trampoline bounce thing.  So I kept my pounding heart and crazy mom nerves to myself and perched myself across the attraction from her so I couldn't see how high my four year old was really bouncing. 

She of course had a blast and asked to do it again.  Jason and I were both shocked at our little thrill seeker.  She didn't demonstrate one moment of hesitation at bouncing 2 stories in the air.
Jack was not left out of the thrill rides and since he is 36 inches tall, he was able to ride most of the kiddie rides by himself.  His big sister chaperoned of course.  I said numerous times, "I can't believe I am letting my kids do this".  A little bit of independence goes a long way and I think they enjoyed themselves even more because if it.  Their faces say it all.

All the fair rides, games and animals left us a little hungry.  It was a unanimous vote for dinner: 

Only with your ears.

Some of my favorite things to do are singing and dancing.  Apparently my children think I should be forbidden from doing these things in their presence already.  Today in the car while we were rocking out to the never annoying children's CD, Jack requested "Little Teapot" for the 8th time in a row.  While I was joining in on the chorus and the dance moves, he said "Momma, do the music only with your ears."

And so it begins....

I have cried, laughed and been inspired by the blogs of my friends and have thoroughly enjoyed being in the loop of their lives.  I have decided to attempt my own version as a scrapbook for my family.  I am notoriously awful for returning emails, calls and overall keeping in touch.  I am hopeful that this will be a way to keep family and friends in the loop of our little family.  And so it begins...

Allison is four and a half.  She will not let the "half" portion of her age go unsaid.  She amazes me each day with her observations and intuition.  She is talkative with a definite opinion on everything.  She is smart as a whip and has her father's affection for practical jokes.  She is the epitome of a Daddy's girl.  She insists on him putting her down for bed every night, especially when she is wearing "Daddy's princess" pajamas.

Jack is two.  He is all boy, and he is Mama's boy.  He loves all things sports, cars, trains and dinosaurs.  He is currently curled up with his "Encyclopedia of Dinosaurs" as he is sleeping peacefully in his big boy bed.  He is funny with a quick laugh.  He has become quite adept at being the little brother.  This is a role that he embraces fully, he was born into it.